I have always been really, really weirded out by how romantic Hollywood thinks it is to break up weddings, and everyone I know who likes Grey’s Anatomy is sick of listening to me talk about how disrespectful it is of the concept of being married. I have gotten it all off my chest over at MSNBC.com, so read about that here.

Today in Vulture: I have these concerns about Neil Diamond night.

The regular post (in which we discuss Survivor!) should go up soon, but until then, enjoy my detour over to MSNBC.com for a discussion of how the horribly boring “fans” knocked the air out of the season. Let’s really dislike Natalie!

Unlikable “Fans” Suck Life Out Of “Survivor”

Twice more to Vulture, once to expand further on Miley Cyrus, and once to return to the topic of Baby Mama. Oh, birthing puns, how I do love you!

If you’re interested in seeing some early-nineties writing that I hadn’t laid eyes on in many years, make sure to check out the comments on this post, where Dan was kind enough to unearth two Bulletin Board contributions of mine. One is from 1992 and one is from 1993. I sound like myself, I think, only…younger.

Oh! And that “dead baby seals” thing is a total inside joke and a shout-out to my dear college friends. I figured it was the only time anybody would see anything I wrote in public, so I threw it in there.

It took me a while, but I found the Jane Espenson blog entry where she talks about two-percenters. I was thinking about two-percenters because a month ago, on my first day of blissful unemployment (which is now more like self-employment), I was watching…well, The Nanny. Don’t get me wrong; I watch stupid old sitcoms anyway. I’m not blaming joblessness for this. (Joblessness: “Good, because I wouldn’t want to have to tell everyone about you and Who’s The Boss?“)

So this is what happens in this particular Nanny: After transforming Fran into an appropriate mother figure for Maggie’s fancy society to-do, you see, Mr. Sheffield and Niles the butler sit around congratulating themselves on their work: “I say, old man, we did it!” “We did it.” “We did it! We said that we would do it, and indeed, we did.” Now, this entire storyline borrows heavily from My Fair Lady, of course, and most people are going to get that. But the number of people who will know that’s an exact lift from the show/movie is probably…about two percent. I mean, you know. Not two percent of all people, but two percent of people who watch The Nanny. In reruns. On Lifetime. Which is…let’s say, two people, total. Me and somebody else.

(Funny story: I was actually housesitting for Tara and Dave at the time, and at one point, I had to leave in the middle of an episode of The Nanny, so I put on the DVR. I know, I know. And so after Tara got home, the first time I saw her, we chatted nicely about her trip and how much I loved housesitting, and then there was this pause, and she said, “So. The Nanny, huh?”)

Anyway, The Nanny and its My Fair Lady joke reminded me of that Espenson blog entry, and how flattering I found it, and how entirely right she is about the dangers of that kind of joke. When I wrote recaps, two percent was sometimes very generous — I wrote jokes for one percent, or half a percent, or for five people who had been in a room when something happened. One person, in a very tiny number of cases. What was great about the TWoP audience is that they were really well adjusted to not getting all the jokes. I don’t think I ever got all the jokes in any recap I ever read or edited. She’s also absolutely right that the best joke is one that a lot of people will get, but most of them will think not that many people will get. Those are the gold standard; that’s a really hard target to hit.

I forget what my point was, but I think maybe it was that now I know what it’s like to write an episode of The Nanny.

AND THEN IN THE NEXT EPISODE, JAMES MARSDEN WAS ON! Hey, don’t say The Nanny never did anything good for you.

I love Vulture, which makes me even happier to be in Vulture, and even happier than that about taking a giant shot at the monstrosity that is Andrew Lloyd Webber night. This is a good day.

Hey, I may have spent a lot of time noodling around with slideshow software today (see below), but I am indeed working, in case you’re wondering.

• If you remember the post from a couple of weeks ago about tipping, you can see it blown out into a real live article over here. It was actually pretty cool to read a federal statute again. I love it when my JD gets off its behind and does some work, since I’m still paying for it.
• One thing I like about this piece at MSNBC.com is that they’re so good over there about not changing the weird stuff I sometimes throw in that sounds pretty unmistakably like me. I’m glad to be working with them again.

So things are good, and things are progressing, and life does indeed go on.